How Posh is my Neighbourhood?
TA6 5JQ Neighbourhood in Sedgemoor is
says Lord Cholmondeley.
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Bad show, old bean. Mummy would be horrified if I associated with the riffraff who live near Sedgemoor. Why don't you look at moving to a better neighbourhood in Somerset, such as Bridgwater or Bridgwater and Taunton Canal? My chum Giles used to rent a cottage just down the road from Bridgwater and Taunton Canal. I'll ask him to see if it's vacant. A bit of friendly advice, old chap. Open a trust fund and look at moving to a more desirable neighbourhood. You'll get more respect by living in a posh neighbourhood, what ho.
What a frightful shame that you missed out on the chance of obtaining a basic education. My daughter Arabella was telling me the other day that she played hockey against the ghastly children from Heathfield Community School in Taunton Deane. Perhaps when you get your inheritance you'll be able to convince the authorities that your children are of a higher social status than you are. Still, I've heard that McDonalds in Bridgwater are seeking new staff, so it's not all bad news. Chin up, old bean.
Excuse my rather direct question, but didn't we pass by your terraced house last weekend in Sedgemoor? My wife Lady Elizabeth and I were heading to the country club when we found ourselves frightfully lost in a ghastly neighbourhood. It was either Bridgwater and Taunton Canal or Bridgwater. One can never tell the difference with all those terraced houses with unkempt lawns and tatty curtains. All your neighbours with second-hand Ford Mondeos must have been green with envy to see my Bentley. I didn't want to stop for fear of getting into a spot of bother with the natives. Terribly sorry, old bean.
Because I'm a spiffing chap I would be delighted to lend you a few thousand from my trust fund to help you out a little. You never know, it might just be enough to elevate you to a better social status. Perhaps you could rent a nice maisonette in Bridgwater, which is a little higher class than Sedgemoor. At the very least you should join Cannington Golf Course in Bridgwater sometime soon. Mixing with a good crowd will do wonders for your social standing.
By jove, hasn't this been fun. Cheerio for now.
Oh, before I shoot off and get squiffy with my chums at the country club, if you are curious to find out more about your neighbourhood, then grab yourself a copy of a ZoomLocal Neighbourhood Report. Those clever chaps can give you a proper report that reveals everything you need to know about your neighbourhood. Chop chop.
P.s. Don't forget to share your score with others to tell them all about Lord Cholmondeley's How Posh are You?
|JD & Coke|