How Posh is my Neighbourhood?
GU2 4AW Neighbourhood in Guildford is
says Lord Cholmondeley.
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Bad show, old bean. Mummy would be horrified if I associated with the riffraff who live near Guildford. Why don't you look at moving to a better neighbourhood in Surrey, such as Bellfields or Guildford? My chum Giles used to rent a cottage just down the road from Guildford. I'll ask him to see if it's vacant. A bit of friendly advice, old chap. Open a trust fund and look at moving to a more desirable neighbourhood. You'll get more respect by living in a posh neighbourhood, what ho.
Hurrah for great schools. What a spiffing time you must have had at George Abbot School in Guildford. I'm delighted that you are more educated than the rest of those oiks on the other side of your town. I can only imagine how inconvenient it is living so close to them. Isn't it just ghastly what they get up to?
Excuse my rather direct question, but didn't we pass by your terraced house last weekend in Guildford? My wife Lady Elizabeth and I were heading to the country club when we found ourselves frightfully lost in a ghastly neighbourhood. It was either Guildford or Bellfields. One can never tell the difference with all those terraced houses with unkempt lawns and tatty curtains. All your neighbours with second-hand Ford Mondeos must have been green with envy to see my Bentley. I didn't want to stop for fear of getting into a spot of bother with the natives. Terribly sorry, old bean.
Jolly sad to hear you need to head down to the pawn brokers in Bellfields to afford your family holiday at Butlins this year. My housekeeper has told me that there is a vacancy in my kitchen staff. Do let me know if you're interested, old chap. We would be delighted to offer you a minimum wage. Just don't steal the family silver. It's been handed down for centuries and it's worth a small fortune. If you want to discuss, then meet me at Guildford Golf Club in Guildford sometime soon. Just don't talk to the other members, in case they think we're chums.
By jove, hasn't this been fun. Cheerio for now.
Oh, before I shoot off and get squiffy with my chums at the country club, if you are curious to find out more about your neighbourhood, then grab yourself a copy of a ZoomLocal Neighbourhood Report. Those clever chaps can give you a proper report that reveals everything you need to know about your neighbourhood. Chop chop.
P.s. Don't forget to share your score with others to tell them all about Lord Cholmondeley's How Posh are You?
|JD & Coke|